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Batman's EHS Management System: OSHA 301 Reports from Gotham

Tim Lozier
by Tim Lozier on Thu, Dec 13, 2012

OSHA 301 - Batman SafetyAttention citizens of Gotham!  Our caped crusader, the Batman, is at it again – fighting injustice, keeping the peace, and racking up safety violations throughout the fair city.  Sure, the Dark Knight has been a shining beacon of hope to those who seek a better tomorrow, but he sure does cause quite a bit of Safety incidents along the way.

Being the good citizen of Gotham, Batman has decided to turn his operation to a more compliant nature, and has begun to implement a full Environmental Health and Safety Management System.  We have been able to obtain a few of his OSHA 301 reports, and are glad to share them with you today:

Batman's OSHA 301

Taken from the above form:

10)  Case Number:  BTM-0001

11)  Date of Injury or Illness:  4/24/12

12)  Time Employee began work:  12:00am

13)  Time of Event: 2:25am

14)  What was the employee doing just before the incident occurred?  Describe the activity, as well as the tools, equipment or material the employee was using.  Be specific.  Examples:  "climbing a ladder while carrying roofing materials"; "spraying chlorine from hand sprayer"; "daily computer key-entry."

The employee was in pursuit of a gang of The Joker’s henchmen upon the rooftops of Gotham City. They had just robbed Gotham first National bank and the employee had chased them to the rooftops.  They fled on foot, jumping from building to building.  The employee had captured three of the five suspects at the time of the injury.

15)  What happened? Tell us how the injury occurred. Examples: "When ladder slipped on wet floor, worker fell 20 feet"; "Worker was sprayed with chlorine when gasket broke during replacement"; "Worker developed soreness in wrist over time."

The Joker appeared in his helicopter, swung from the rope ladder, striking the employee in the mid-section.  The Employee was wearing his protective equipment, but was thrown from the roof.  The employee attempted to deploy the “bat hook” to slow his descent, but as the hook caught the building, the harness on the utility belt failed, causing the employee to fall five-stories into a trash pile.

16)  What was the injury or illness? Tell us the part of the body that was affected and how it was affected; be more specific than "hurt", "pain", or "sore." Examples: "strained back"; "chemical burn, hand"; "carpal tunnel syndrome."

As a result of the pursuit and subsequent fall, the employee sustained an initial broken rib from the Joker encounter, a separated shoulder from the “bat hook” descent, and a bruised tailbone from the impact of the fall.

17)  What object or substance directly harmed the employee?  Examples: "concrete floor"; "chlorine"; "radial arm saw." If this question does not apply to the incident, leave it blank.

The rib injury was sustained from the Joker’s foot.  The recoil of the “bat hook” against the building caused the separated shoulder, and the concrete floor caused the bruise (lessened by the trash pile)

18)  If the employee died, when did death occur?  Date of death

Justice never DIES!

 

Batman's OSHA 301Taken from the above form:

10)  Case Number:  BTM-0002

11)  Date of Injury or Illness:  4/25/12

12)  Time Employee began work:  12:00am

13)  Time of Event: 1:31am

14)  What was the employee doing just before the incident occurred?  Describe the activity, as well as the tools, equipment or material the employee was using.  Be specific.  Examples:  "climbing a ladder while carrying roofing materials"; "spraying chlorine from hand sprayer"; "daily computer key-entry."

The Employee was driving the company car through the streets of Gotham, when there was a commotion in a dark alley.  The Employee immediately raced to the scene, and attempted to get out of the company car to investigate.

15)  What happened? Tell us how the injury occurred. Examples: "When ladder slipped on wet floor, worker fell 20 feet"; "Worker was sprayed with chlorine when gasket broke during replacement"; "Worker developed soreness in wrist over time."

Upon exiting the vehicle, the employee accidently closed the company car door too quickly, causing his cape to become trapped between the door and the interior of the car.  The resulting action caused the employee to fall backwards in mid-air, landing on the street and scaring the source of the commotion away.

16)  What was the injury or illness? Tell us the part of the body that was affected and how it was affected; be more specific than "hurt", "pain", or "sore." Examples: "strained back"; "chemical burn, hand"; "carpal tunnel syndrome."

The employee suffered minor bruises to the buttocks region, and a small laceration from contact with the company car’s door.

17)  What object or substance directly harmed the employee?  Examples: "concrete floor"; "chlorine"; "radial arm saw." If this question does not apply to the incident, leave it blank.

The source of the injury was a combination of the airtight seal on the company car, and the employee’s excessive and loose clothing (i.e. cape) causing potential hazardous situation for injury

18)  If the employee died, when did death occur?  Date of death

JUSTICE MAY FALL ON ITS BUTT, but JUSTICE NEVER DIES!

Batman's OSHA 301

Taken from the above form:

10)  Case Number:  BTM-0003

11)  Date of Injury or Illness:  4/26/12

12)  Time Employee began work:  12:00am

13)  Time of Event: 4:00am

14)  What was the employee doing just before the incident occurred?  Describe the activity, as well as the tools, equipment or material the employee was using.  Be specific.  Examples:  "climbing a ladder while carrying roofing materials"; "spraying chlorine from hand sprayer"; "daily computer key-entry."

The employee was patrolling the sewers of Gotham, and encountered the lair of one Mr. Freeze.  At the time, the employee observed Mr. Freeze attempting to poison Gotham’s water supply, in order to cause mass hysteria throughout the city.  The Employee engaged in a battle with the assailant, and was forced to fight off Mr. Freeze’s icy henchmen, while dodging barrages from the attacker’s giant Freeze Ray.

15)  What happened? Tell us how the injury occurred. Examples: "When ladder slipped on wet floor, worker fell 20 feet"; "Worker was sprayed with chlorine when gasket broke during replacement"; "Worker developed soreness in wrist over time."

When not looking, and not wearing his proper sub-zero batsuit, the employee was stuck on the right side with the Freeze Ray, causing the employee to be thrown from the ground into the wall of the lair.  The employee recovered and detained the assailants, but sustained several injuries in the process.

16)  What was the injury or illness? Tell us the part of the body that was affected and how it was affected; be more specific than "hurt", "pain", or "sore." Examples: "strained back"; "chemical burn, hand"; "carpal tunnel syndrome."

During the engagement, the employee sustained severe frostbite and burns to the right side of his torso, and received a concussion upon hitting the back wall of the lair.

17)  What object or substance directly harmed the employee?  Examples: "concrete floor"; "chlorine"; "radial arm saw." If this question does not apply to the incident, leave it blank.

The Freeze Ray, which blasts concentrated Freon and water at its targets, would normally incapacitate typical victims of Mr. Freeze.  Because of the basic PPEs the employee had in place, he was not directly affected by the ray, and sustained only the injuries stated above.

18)  If the employee died, when did death occur?  Date of death

JUSTICE MAY GET CHILLED OUT, BUT JUSTICE NEVER DIES!

So there, you have it; fearless, vigilant, and accident prone.  With all the current set of violations, you would need to be a millionaire playboy to support all the OSHA fines.  And so, our city remains safe from tyranny, even though the dark protector, the batman, does not seem to be doing so.

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Tim Lozier
Written by Tim Lozier
Tim is the Manager for Marketing and Strategy at EtQ, Inc.
Written by Author

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